<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At home I gaze in mirror, ready myself:
Straighten my part, crunch the gel out
awaken my curls, beckon in my waves
with gloss until they shine and swirl.
I moisten my under eyes with hyaluronics
I slide exquisite serum on forehead, jaw
Pat creamy pricey day potion up and
onto face and neck in gentle circles.
Gently swipe on bronzer, then blush
Tap highlighter powder onto my cheeks
Apply Revitalash brow conditioner
and brow gel to coordinate my follicles.
Faithfully replicate the latest
TikTok via Instagram-approved
layered shadow and crease application
technique created for \u201cmature eyes.\u201d
Pick a delicate rope chain in gold
Pair with demure yellow hoop earrings
Press lips together, spread creamy rouge
End with tubing mascara; OK, enough!
Enter Photo Corner at the local store
Say I need a Passport Photo, two-by-two.
She looks up, pulls down cream backdrop
and assesses without filter, \u201cToo tall! Sit<\/em>.\u201d
She points at a metal step stool 15\u201d high
I squat to tiny bench, knees splay wide
I look like a denim-sheathed poison frog
I brush it off to stay calm \u2014 and dazzling.
Through lens, she frowns \u201cNo, straight!\"
\u201cTake those hoops off, hide that chain\u201d
\u201cYou can't smile, stop it. Don\u2019t look up.\u201d
\u201cNeed to take it again, you fumbled it.\u201d
Nice little pep chat, really, to raise my ego.
She sighs loudly; clicks off point and shoot
\u201cMeet me at the counter\u201d so I do, card out.
\"$19.49\" she states; I wave chip \u2014 zing<\/em>.
So then she hands me an envelope
She stares at me, briefly; breaks away:
\u201cI did the best I could, with the material<\/em>.\u201d
She means me. She huffs, crosses arms.
Nervous of the results, I wait 'til outside
slide the snaps out and... Jump scare!<\/em>
Met with a fugitive's snarl, Killer Vibes
brooding brows, threatening eyes.
An overactive imagination fills in the rest:
My joyless image in the upper right corner
of a newscaster's Breaking News Update<\/em>
\u201cShe\u2019s on the run, extremely dangerous!\u201d
What is it exactly, that unites all ID photogs
in the art of capturing people as cadavers
or n'er-do-wells despite all the love
we put in to prepare in advance?
Again, here it is, yet another debacle
for a seventh time in a row it feels.
I hold in my hand the crime I paid for:
a hit job of a pic, now mine for a decade.
<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u201cPhoto,\u201d a rant-poem on the inexplicably awful photographic conditions of government-approved portraiture, written March 2, poem 061 in a series of 365 poems written by Diana Ludwick in 2026. Photograph: Manufactured Disaster: A Passport Photo, by Diana Ludwick (c) 2026.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":594,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,200,2,5],"tags":[202,9,237,241,240,232,238,242,236,243,239,70],"class_list":["post-587","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2026-poetry-challenge","category-humor","category-poems","category-rants","tag-aging","tag-humor","tag-id-photos","tag-indignities","tag-makeup","tag-march","tag-passport","tag-petty","tag-photographs","tag-rants","tag-self-image","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/587","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=587"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/587\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":711,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/587\/revisions\/711"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/594"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=587"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=587"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=587"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}