{"id":664,"date":"2026-03-10T15:31:44","date_gmt":"2026-03-10T15:31:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/?p=664"},"modified":"2026-03-27T14:31:33","modified_gmt":"2026-03-27T14:31:33","slug":"in-the-ay-er","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/?p=664","title":{"rendered":"In the Ay-er"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
I am at that specific elder millennial age
where I've dumped Top 40 Morning Drive
in favor of dulcet voices and witty insights
from Morning Edition's<\/em> hosts,
Michel and Steve, A., and Leila. 

And so each morning
after I rouse my child (and run away)
I ask my Home Pod Siri
to play NPR News in the kitchen.

This month, the public radio 
streaming service on Apple:
\"...has been brought to you...
...by Bayer Pharmaceuticals.\"

And every time WAMU plays
this same Bayer commercial, 
I'm a sleeper cell activated;
jolted awake, called to dance.

Without fail, I instantly belt out
in full-throated in will.i.am style:
\ud83c\udfb5Ba<\/em>-Yer! Ba-Bayer<\/em><\/strong>
        Bayer, Ba-Bay<\/em>-er!!<\/strong>\ud83c\udfb5

Then, at risk of hitting the fan, 
I throw my hands upppppppp:
\ud83c\udfb5in the ay<\/em>-er, ay-ayer<\/em><\/strong>
                    ayer, ay-ayer<\/em>!<\/strong>\ud83c\udfb5

And I repeat this several rounds
dropping low, pulsing my hips
feeling young, alive and relevant
\u2014 'til my scandalized kid cuts in:

\"Mom!Ugh!<\/em> 
[That's her pet name for me]
Could you like...Not?!!<\/em>
If you stopped singing 
that would be wonderful<\/em>.\"

When sudden ego death 
threatens my existence
I\u2019ve only one way 
to reasonably respond:

I sing, summoning Flo Rida:
\ud83c\udfb5Oh hot damn!<\/strong> \ud83c\udfb5
                    She rolls her eyes;
I exclaim: \ud83c\udfb5 This is my jam!<\/strong> \ud83c\udfb5
                    She exits stage left.

[End scene] <\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cIn the Ay-er,\u201d in which the geriatric Millennial is awoken like a sleeper cell every time a Bayer commercial plays on the radio. Written March 10, poem 069 in a series of 365 poems written by Diana Ludwick in 2026. Photo by Diana Ludwick (c) 2026. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":668,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,311,200,2,1],"tags":[304,305,309,232,302,303,307,244,308,306,310],"class_list":["post-664","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2026-poetry-challenge","category-generational","category-humor","category-poems","category-uncategorized","tag-2000s","tag-dancing","tag-embarrassing-kids","tag-march","tag-millennial","tag-moms","tag-morning-routines","tag-mother-daughter-dynamics-2","tag-npr","tag-singing","tag-sleeper-cell"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/664","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=664"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/664\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":854,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/664\/revisions\/854"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=664"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=664"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianaludwick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=664"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}