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# Northbound
- URL: https://dianaludwick.com/northbound/
- Published: 2026-08-07T11:58:47.000Z
- Updated: 2026-08-07T11:58:47.000Z
- Description: “Northbound,” an unhinged travel log of driving North with family, written Friday, August 07, 2026 poem 219 in a series of 365 poems written by Diana Ludwick in 2026. Photo: "Get Low Low Low," by Diana Ludwick © 2026.
- Author: Diana Ludwick
- Tags: 2026 Poetry Challenge, Current Events, Faux Lament, Generational, Humor, Loosely Hinged, Of Place, Perimenopause, Poems, Rants, Snarky, Unserious, Apple Music CarPlay, Audible Eye Roll™️, August, Car ride, Death Seat, Dream Bar, Family, Family Car Trip, Friday, Garage Door, Generational Dynamics, Gremlin Moment, High Summer, James Horner, Latte, LUDA!!!!!!, Ludacris, Maryland House, Move B!!!, North, PDA, PSA Reminder, Road Trip, Roll Credits, Shirley!, Starbucks, Summer, Titanic, Ugh, We are All Patricia, #Migrated-1792872215677, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-10-24 20:03

Family Car trip North,   
next stop: Vacationland.  
Minute: zero  
Family: buckle up.  
Me: “It’s six-oh-one, we’re late go go go go go go!”  
Car doors slam, garage door shudders down.  
  
Minute: zero point five  
Me, as we back down driveway:   
“It’s so freaking humid I’m going to die right here, right here in this death seat!”  
Him: averts eyes, tucks chin down to protect neck  
Her: Audible Eye Roll™️  
  
Minute eight: At local Starbucks:  
Me: grande coconut milk latte, what the heck add a shot of vanilla and obviously the rice crispy bar—  
Him: You don’t really need a Dream bar before seven right?   
Me: “make that two!”  
  
Eleven minutes in:  
each of us are folded back into overstuffed car,   
we turn onto backroads before the interstate:  
Apple Music CarPlay at volume 2 of 100:   
🎶 **move bitch**🎶  
Me: **LUDA!!!!!!!!!!!**  
\[immediately dials volume to 23\]  
Him: whoa whoa it’s way too early for volume 23  
Me: guzzles latte, emits feral cry:   
**“Whooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhwoooooooooooooooohhh** 
**MOVE B!!!!!”**  
  
Him: Um Di, can you pull up directions, I need a navigator—  
Me: Ugh hold ON! I’m almost done sending this reel pebble to my friend—  
Him: And—this is time-dependent I need to know if the road is closed or not—  
Me: It’s a *road* I’m sure it’s open—  
Me: Oh yeah, so it's closed—  
Him: \_\_\_\_  
  
Thirty-two minutes into our daylong drive:  
Me: “We need to stop immediately I need to pee!”  
Him: We’re on an expressway linked to a tunnel there’s literally no where to stop, Di. Look up ‘Maryland House’”  
Me: “That’s twenty miles away! I will pee on you before we get that far!”  
  
Minute: fifty-eight  
Me: ebullient post-restroom relief.  
I run towards him, arms open,   
hopping thrice, launch preparations to leap into his arms.  
Him: grimaces, teeth bared in the middle of the rest stop:  
“PSA reminder for the millionth time: I don’t do PDA, babe”  
  
Minute sixty-one:  
Me: Cross arms; huff to car  
Get back in, re-fold arms over belted chest.  
  
Minute sixty-seven (six-seven!)  
I think he’s winking at me, to melt the ice.  
I turn to smile as he says:   
“You know...your windshield interior is *profoundly* dirty”  
Me: Uh! I’m sorry my windows aren’t up to your standards, *Tom*!  
**\[We are all Patricia\]**  
  
Minute: seventy-four  
Me: “I can’t believe you wouldn’t kiss me in public”  
Him: “I’m still getting over your gremlin moment before you got to pee”  
Me: *WHAT* GREMLIN MOMENT   
Him: —  
Him: — —  
Him: “The next four hundred miles will be pleasant, surely.”  
Me: “Don’t call me ‘Shirley!’  
  
Him: Searches, palpates,   
desperate fingers brush across the console   
running across knobs and dials to find a partition window button,   
seeking an absolution.   
  
Narrator: “an absolution, that would never come”  
Cue the James Horner *Titanic* soundtrack  
  
**Roll credits**