I often find myself, and my inner monologue and ruminations, at the junction of my Benevolent Saints and my Better Divas. Specifically the two forces that come to me and alight on my shoulders time and again are the inimitable voices of Michelle Obama and Cardi B. For both these women guide me, get me, represent me and give me hope, in what may seem like vastly different ways, but I argue arises from the same vibes, just different dialects. Both these women are fed up and ready for change, just as I am.
Michelle famously said: “When they go Low, We go Higher!” And we listened and we believed her, truly we did. And we tried, we really did, Ms. Obama. And we can now solidly report that Going High can be as effective as crossing our ankles, smoothing our pleated skirts down over our knees, using delicate pressure on our Crayola and coloring inside the lines while the coloring book curls, shrivels and turns to ashes in the licks of flames consuming the burning building. Who was to know?
Speaking of flames. Cardi B. has her own axiom, which she shared with Gayle King on the CBS Mornings: “When they go low, I take it to Hell. Where the lava is at — where the volcano erupted — Hot!” She further acknowledged: “Michelle, I get the positivity, but sometimes you need to take it to Hell.”
These women may sound light years apart from one another in tone and approach. Yet these bookend priestesses are not oppositional; they agree with one another fundamentally. Both want justice and progress, just as I too seek so fully and furiously.
When I first heard Cardi’s guiding mantra, I shrieked in recognition. YES! YES! This is the way! Enough with being polite to the people in power who do not see us as humans, as worthy, as significant for anything other than billing hours at their mega corporations or paying higher taxes while they find new loopholes to avoid taxes entirely. If a trifling woman or a seedy politician is going to try us, then they better meet us outside and come pre-stretched and flexible and stow their Oura rings and gold cufflinks for the duration.
But I am not brawling in Capitol Hill, am I. I only imagine these scenes. Because as an ordinary citizen, I am subject to the harsh and arbitrary rules of whoever is in charge at the time. And so instead of storming the closest Federal building, I keep coloring in my incerated book while awaiting Philosopher T. Swift to drop a Broadway rendition of Female Rage: The Musical.
As an absolution, and perhaps a moment of reclaiming a phrase that has become diluted, ridiculed and tossed aside like so many “Si Se Puede” posters, Ms. Obama clarified just this week her intent. As a guest on one of the very last episodes of Stephen Colbert’s incisive The Late Show, she cast her hands to the sky and said, “For me, going ‘High’ is not losing the urgency or the passion or the rage, especially when you are justified in it. Going High means finding the purpose in your rage. Rage without reason, without a plan, without a direction is just more rage…and that’s why we go high. The opposite way of being is unsustainable.”
And so with this, I feel seen and comforted. My two favorite parasocial mentors are on the same team. We all just want to funnel our abhorrence for the status quo into a better tomorrow. And sometimes that comes with a demure Jason Wu dress and chic pearls, and sometimes that comes with spike heels and a glorious cackle. In any case, both paths are welcome if we make progress towards the Matriarchy — a world where all humans are safe and respected and spiritually aligned. I acknowledge that not all roads to radical kindness and rage-incubated empathy may be blessed by Ms. Manners. But perhaps Ms. Manners is not the end-all, be-all. We need many voices. Many POVS and hot takes and “hey gals, now let’s think this through.” It will take all of us to topple the mediocrity and atrocities of this current pit of despair and come out the other side with a world that’s worthy of our children’s children — and our pets’ and house plants’ progeny.
I’ll say this, both Ms. B and Ms. O are invited to brunch, any time name the place and I’ll book an Open Table for us (come on ladies, I need the points more than either of you, let’s face it). And Taylor, meet us at the table, we’ll save you a seat.
