At home I gaze in mirror, ready myself:
Straighten my part, crunch the gel out
awaken my curls, beckon in my waves
with gloss until they shine and swirl.
I moisten my under eyes with hyaluronics
I slide exquisite serum on forehead, jaw
Pat creamy pricey day potion up and
onto face and neck in gentle circles.
Gently swipe on bronzer, then blush
Tap highlighter powder onto my cheeks
Apply Revitalash brow conditioner
and brow gel to coordinate my follicles.
Faithfully replicate the latest
TikTok via Instagram-approved
layered shadow and crease application
technique created for “mature eyes.”
Pick a delicate rope chain in gold
Pair with demure yellow hoop earrings
Press lips together, spread creamy rouge
End with tubing mascara; OK, enough!
Enter Photo Corner at the local store
Say I need a Passport Photo, two-by-two.
She looks up, pulls down cream backdrop
and assesses without filter, “Too tall! Sit.”
She points at a metal step stool 15” high
I squat to tiny bench, knees splay wide
I look like a denim-sheathed poison frog
I brush it off to stay calm — and dazzling.
Through lens, she frowns “No, straight!"
“Take those hoops off, hide that chain”
“You can't smile, stop it. Don’t look up.”
“Need to take it again, you fumbled it.”
Nice little pep chat, really, to raise my ego.
She sighs loudly; clicks off point and shoot
“Meet me at the counter” so I do, card out.
"$19.49" she states; I wave chip — zing.
So then she hands me an envelope
She stares at me, briefly; breaks away:
“I did the best I could, with the material.”
She means me. She huffs, crosses arms.
Nervous of the results, I wait 'til outside
slide the snaps out and... Jump scare!
Met with a fugitive's snarl, Killer Vibes
brooding brows, threatening eyes.
An overactive imagination fills in the rest:
My joyless image in the upper right corner
of a newscaster's Breaking News Update
“She’s on the run, extremely dangerous!”
What is it exactly, that unites all ID photogs
in the art of capturing people as cadavers
or n'er-do-wells despite all the love
we put in to prepare in advance?
Again, here it is, yet another debacle
for a seventh time in a row it feels.
I hold in my hand the crime I paid for:
a hit job of a pic, now mine for a decade.
