It has become
the Internet’s
fond pastime
to bemoan
and begrudge
those infinite
days of January.
That time
between the
first and
the thirty-first
ever stretches
on in dark and
grey and slushy
milliseconds.
And we laugh
temporarily
when we see
a reel or post
or meme or
thread that
proves
we are not
alone.
That others
too
feel the cold
slog of time
brings me
a certain
gallows unity.
That this year,
then the next
is certainly
the worst
January yet.
But this year,
2026,
may really be
The
Longest
January.
Hyper-informed
yet
under-powered,
I scroll through
tiny videos
and wee text
on my
Apple device,
blue light
invading my
retinas as I
witness
pixelated
mass tragedies
and brutal
executions
and hilarious
parodies
and well-cited
take-downs
then a delicious
Korean ribs
recipe next AI
capybaras
on a beach
followed by a
solemn statement
from a corporation
taking a stance
on something
who knows what—
What’s this,
Oh no!
I pause
in my tracks
and mourn
as I read the
death
announcement
for my
favorite actor
Catherine
O’Hara
My on-screen
Mom
My idol
gone
without
warning
too young
at 71.
Kevin!
Reeling,
I continue
my digital
slot machine
pulls —
come on,
cherries —
willing the app
to serve me
sufficient
explanations
for where
the world
is going:
The Why
of it all
is in here
I just know it.
I glimpse
the latest
on the Budget
Will we
shut down?
Now
six stories
in a row:
hot takes
from
several
somber
faces of
followed
social
influencers,
their heads
superimposed
over thickly
redacted
documents
as they
spell out
what lurks in
the latest
tranche
that’s hit
the web—
all this
zooms
past my
winter-chapped
thumb.
I need
a manicure.
I absorb
and
accumulate
the tension
the fear
the anger
the grief
the snark
the laughter
the umbrage
the homage
and the gore
which flow
from fingertip
to frontal lobe.
It has been
like this,
for
every hour
every day,
since
New Years.
I have
felt so deeply
so broadly
each headline
clip and
cartoon and
sound bite
piercing my
heart and
the brain
and my
sympathetic
nervous
system
Fight!
Flight!
Freeze!
Fawn!
in this
first month
of 2026.
This January
I have
lived
through
decades
centuries
millennia
Eternity.
I close
the app
and bless
myself
with a
nano
prayer:
May
tonight
end gently
and may
February
fly by.
