Stimuliiiiii

Shy of seven thirty weekday morning and already
infinite sources of noise penetrate my skull 
vying and jostling to be decoded and 
ingested as information: 

Olivia Rodrigo’s GUTS album blasts through the house
pouring down the stairs from a bedroom above
occupied by a teen who stomps as they
 — allegedly — ready for school

Down below, from a smart speaker floats dialogue
as radio commentator and interview subject banter
and spin, slice and back-serve dancing around stories
“Yes, yes but Senator; returning to the question, can you expand?”

Do I smell burning? 
Is that a brain tumor or — 
Toaster beeps
Nope, it’s scorched carbs
I need to get that—

But I’m already in the laundry room
following a plaintive bleat: 
UL! UL! UL! The washer blinks from LED
Uneven Load — Save our Sheets.
Open washer, see bedsheets twisted into sudsy,
incorrigible Celtic knots, petulantly declaring war:
How dare you leave me unsupervised?
Heave up thick soaked sections to unwind them
Plunged up to my forearms in slick icy wet 
I shudder as skin saturates with cold and ick—

Go wash my hands and forearms
in closest powder room to scrub
surfactants and chelates and enzymes
and perfumes and polymers 
and grit off and away
from my reddening flesh.

Microwave reminder signal dings
beep beep! 
What was I heating again?

Return to kitchen to assess the scene
No evidence of school prep, 
no helpful little human about
hustling and bustling.
“It’s time to come down!” I summon.

Turn to fruit stand to retrieve a Cavendish; 
alas the hook is empty—
“Hey Siri, add ‘Bananas’ to ‘Shopping List’”
I instruct to the air, with careful em-pha-sis.
But Siri mocks me, playing goalie: 
Who is Speaking?
Who is Speaking?
Am I invisible and inaudible? 
Forget it! I huff— 

Electric kettle thrums
nearing a rolling boil
Oh right, tea—  

Phone chirps with endless notifications
from one of any eighty apps

Headline: partial government shutdown still in force with not end in sight...

Apple Fitness: Great job closing your rings yesterday! Can you do it again?

Breaking News alert: Disney CEO named...

iMessage: W-2 should be in the mail today...

Peloton app: Get ready! Your scheduled meditation begins in fifteen minutes!

Email: Don't forget! Masterclass meets tonight! 

County push notification: Important: TWO HOUR DELAY TOMORROW!

Clench teeth
—but then stop myself, release—
can’t mess up all that pricey dentistry and orthodontic work—

Feel wrist pulsing, my Apple Watch
emits haptic vibration, look down 
Incoming Call
Husband, likely to game-plan our day—
Oops too late on my reaction time
will need to call him back—

Chalk caterwauls on blackboard as 
I scrawl an after-school checklist.
Pink powder coats my finger pads
ugh go to kitchen sink to wash off—
more hand soap; 
find faucet stuck on Spray mode
waterfall in miniature pounding 
against steel basin 
obliterating my ears in spatial audio.

Super-auto German coffee machine squawks from the corner:
Cleaning Mode Initiated—

—more toweling, more drying of limbs 
and distal appendages—my skin is going to be so dry—

Child appears; thrusts a warm laptop three inches from my eyes:
What do you think of this top? Can I buy three? Will you pick them up? Or should I pay for express shipping? I am thinking I will buy — 

I cut in: 
Did you pack your backpack?
Grab your coat? Get your socks? Find your shoes?
Pack your lunch? Fill your water bottle?

The answer to all: 
Mom YES obviously!
She plods off in a plume of discontent
although I hear her resume humming as she turns the corner—

In-door fridge dispenser churns
out ice: 
Thump clunk thwack it ricochets
off Yeti bottle rim
Water swishes out in a tight
high-pitched stream—

The air fills with the Look-at-Me screech 
of water hitting 212 degrees Fahrenheit 
Click! Goes the button as it hits temp;
Beep-beep-beep! Blares the kettle
Tea will have to wait—

Back to fledging this offspring:
If you want a ride you need to be fully ready! 
I AM!
We’re leaving in thirty seconds!
OK whatever! Gosh I’m ready!
Where is your coat?
It’s in my bag! 
Are you sure?
Mom YEAH!

Ignored kettle re-boils, beeps again
“I will be back!” 
I half promise, part scold it.

I grab keys which scrape
metallic screams against the hook
Purse hits the frame of the door, 
handle catches on knob - ow! 

I am yanked back with oppositional force
I grunt as I rub my pulled shoulder—
Click garage door — mechanism whirls
and it grunts, too.

Everything envelopes me
I feel hear smell touch taste experience 
s t i m u l i i i i.

Swing car door shut 
Sit on arctic leather seat —oooph!
Clutch frigid wheel
Shiver and wait; birds warble.

Where is this child? Seriously! 
I drum my fingertips on the dash 
bidding her presence
Then, when I can’t wait any longer 
I rap steering wheel horn lightly -ever just so- 
and an anemic honk emits
Can’t be too loud, of course, 
can’t be That Neighbor.

Stare at garage, gaping open, 
willing her to appear as tensions mount
Blood tingles through my face
I know how the kettle feels—

See motion at front door
kid emerges from there
What? Why the switch-up?

Close now irrelevant garage remotely
it clunks close
Mom I’m gonna be late!
She brays, laying fault on me.

Deep breath — 
air whooshes by my ears—

We wend our way through the perils 
twists and turns 
of winter streets narrowed by
snowcrete embankments—

And we hear
Shovels on icy driveways
Dogs barking
Crows cawing
Cars squeals on cold tires
Irritated parents honking 
as four-way stops 
become risky roulette:
Who is more important?
Their perceived value of time
Or my rightful position?
Not the law, clearly—

Finally at school:
I love you honey, have a great day!
Yah bye.
Door thwacks close.

A visual enters my mind —her coat was in the mud room by the garage, I saw it.
It couldn't have been in her backpack, she fibbed to me—I shake it off.

Silence

Exhale deeply
cast silent prayer that
I just might 
get through today—

Low Fuel! 
The dash announces
interrupting peace.
I guess I'll meditate in motion.