Sleepwalking

My alarm jump-scares me into dawn
before my head falls back, leaden, to my muffin hot and steamy pillow.
Given my start, I deduce that I slept, but I'm drowsy, unrested.
My Apple Watch glows on my wrist; ugh I forgot to charge it overnight.
Rotating my arm, I glimpse how much battery is left; one hopes, enough.

My watch screen blinks with an active timer
My forehead wrinkles as I watch the seconds place scroll by.
What is this even timing?
I swipe the screen to the left and see that my tech thinks I’ve been doing.
My watch face reports, dutifully if not accurately, that I've been on a foot race.
In faux fact, according to Apple, I've been exercising all night, so it seems.
I've put in nearly ten hours of nocturnal somnambulism — sleepwalking.

My discovery leads to branched logic
as I cogitate with cobwebs lingering on my thought process:
The moral voice in me frets:
Oh No! How will this affect my streak?
I'm gonna have to delete this - it might mess up yesterday and today!
The perma-exhaused voice in me gloats:
Woo-hoo! I’m already done with working out for the day!
The competitive I Can Do Anything Better Than You voice chides:
Look at that abysmal four digit pace! I’ll never be able to get my average back to normal

Technology, the solution to, and cause of, so much friction.
I’m navigating new problems I never asked for,
throwing logistical, ethical and functional quandaries my way
before I’m even fully sure I’m awake.

As my feet swivel to meet the floor for the first time today,
I marvel that I was sleepwalking;
What a trip.
I haven’t left my bed and I’ve already stumbled into the day.